trust and improvisation

Photo by Lauren Lulu Taylor on Unsplash

unpolished thoughts 2/6/2019

Today is another day when I’m not sure how to begin – but that’s hardly out of the ordinary, is it?

Every day we have to make things up as we go along, even if we have a plan. (We made that plan up anyways.)

Improvisation is an essential skill in our daily lives.

Acknowledging this reality is important because otherwise any deviation from the plan brings up our anxieties. While we might have made that plan for a good reason, no plan ever measures up to the predictably unpredictable unfolding of life.

So it’s useful to get more accustomed to the idea of making things up.

Yesterday, my partner stopped by and found me in front of my computer. She demanded to know if I’d experienced the gorgeous day outside yet.

My answer was “no,” but she wasn’t taking “no” for an answer!

I had been thinking of running, but I wasn’t paying attention to the time and my “plan” was to finish what I was working on before going out. But I realized in that moment that if I didn’t go out immediately, I wouldn’t have time before picking up my daughter from school.

“Get outside – now!”

Either way, Margarita wasn’t going to let me sit on my butt any longer. There wasn’t time to think it over any further. So I just accepted the invitation.

I trusted her.

Soon after that, while running through the park, I realized there was no danger that I wouldn’t finish all my work. I had done enough to come back to it later.

In other words, the change of plans didn’t ruin any plans. It was gorgeous outside and I had almost missed it. The change of plans made the day better.

Improvisation requires some level of trust that things will work out. Sometimes you just have to leap.

Of course, there are always infinite choices in each moment. But what better way to paralyze ourselves than to think about all of those choices before each step we take?

While running, I enjoyed my relationship to the ground.

Having just completed two weeks of intensive Feldenkrais training, I’m stepping on a different part of my foot now. I’m further forward on my heel, but without the sense that I’m falling.

The result is more spring in my step and more ability to expand my belly in all directions as I breathe.

Having a clearer connection to the ground and an easy breath also make it easier for me to improvise. It’s easier to trust that I’ll keep my balance as I dip and weave – something I had to do a lot of yesterday on the muddy path.

Each time I work with a client in a Functional Integration session, I’m also improvising.

For example, yesterday I visited a man I’ve been working with for over a year now, a talented artist who suffered two strokes, losing his ability to speak and most of the use of the left side of his body.

Usually I arrive to find him with his head turned and falling to the right, the right side of his ribs strongly contracted, and his legs held tightly together with the right leg crossed over the left.

For whatever reason, this time I became drawn to the way the left side of his ribs rested on the bed.

I made small movements with his body, following his general pattern, but with particular emphasis on his left ribs. Also, I spent considerable time with his legs, working gently and slowly in order not to provoke the further protective contractions that always come if I move too quickly.

Eventually, it became possible for him to uncross his legs.

At the end, I asked him to turn his head to the left while pointing in the same direction with his left arm. It’s something we often build up to and he did it quite well today. I also had him push his right heel against my hand as he did it to connect through the length of his skeleton.

One time, he said, “Aaaaah,” when he did it.

It was unintentional, but I was struck by how resonant his voice was. So I asked him to continue vocalizing as he did the movement. He resisted at first, but then seemed to enjoy it. His voice sounded stronger than I had ever heard it before.

When I left we were both in good spirits. We had improvised together, trusting ourselves in each moment to find the next step, and finally discovering something beautiful.

Our levels of trust necessarily fluctuate depending on the situations we are in and the company we keep.

But one thing is always constant: our self.

So learning to trust ourselves changes everything.

That’s why I love to practice the Feldenkrais Method. It allows me to continually discover more about myself and how I function in the world.

The more I understand, the more I can be flexible both in body and mind. The more I know how to adapt, the more I can trust myself and the ever-changing world around me.

When I am less tied down to my plans or having only one way of doing things, I’m freer to make experiments, improvise, and discover beautiful possibilities in every direction.

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This weekend, in Washington DC, I’m co-hosting a workshop, Improvisation for Everyday Life, with choreographer Nancy Havlik.

This is a wonderful opportunity to discover more of your own beautiful possibilities by finding a clearer connection to yourself and the surrounding environment.

We’re going to create a safe place to play!

To learn more, click here

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