Photo by Mikesh Kaos on Unsplash
unpolished thoughts 12/25/2018
Last night I was up late.
I let the music course through my veins like it used to.
Once upon a time, this was the only real nourishment I knew how to give myself, late nights with sounds that resonated deep inside. In that place, my body could enter a state where I was capable of feeling powerful.
But I didn’t yet know how to embody that state and take it with me out into the world.
Still, by dancing in the dark this way, I proved to myself many times that I had the right to be on this planet, and to keep fighting for another day to uncover my gifts.
This morning is easy – no rush, no hurry, no worry.
I’m here with a coffee by my side and no agenda.
There is a ticking sound in the wall, a long drawn out unwinding of something inside there. It happens every day in this old building. At first it used to alarmed me. Now it soothes me. Like the sound of cars outside when traffic is light. Like rainfall.
The spoon in my coffee cup comes from the house I grew up in. It’s decades old.
Everything carries a story.
Today there is enough room in the day to spend a little time taking care of myself. I can lie on the floor and explore movement to illuminate my understanding of who I am.
I love the moments of wordless insight that sometimes come, gently buzzing with excitement because a door is opening. Something is happening here inside me that never happened before.
When I discover that there is more to me than what I previously knew, I change the way I walk through the world, leaning further forward, wondering why I ever held myself back.
Each step is a moment of making connection, my feet to the ground, my eyes to the view of what surrounds me, my lungs to the air that passes through me. This is why I practice.
I practice so that I might become more skilled and intentional as I move through the world, more present to the ever-changing connection between my insides and outsides, and the unfolding possibilities.
Everything I see contains a story. Everything I hear contains a story. Everything I smell contains a story. Everything I touch contains a story.
In each moment, stories meet each other, inviting new stories to be born.
So why not spend some time on the floor, moving slowly with attention and intention, present to all of the stories contained in even this tiny experience? It’s an opportunity to connect with the infinite web of story that stretches in all directions in space and time.
We all have the capacity to enter more deeply into our stories, learning how to pick the words and images to discover the sensations and connections we wish to embody. We can be intentional with the story we bring into the world, how we contribute to the birth of new stories.
What kind of story do you tell?
How does the world respond to your story?
The answer is there each time you move.
Just pay attention to the place where you and the world are touching.